Lately.. I keep feeling a little sad and having strange dreams. At first I thought it was because I miss everyone from school now that I'm home. While I still think that is one of the reasons, I can't help but feel like it isn't the only reason.
I think I am suffering from loneliness and fear...
You see, the boy that I have feelings for went back to his home country. However, this is not such a big problem for me at the moment because I will be seeing him next month. My problem is that we never discussed our relationship.
Towards the beginning, we had a talk about it. I told him that.. I wanted to try to continue our relationship even though I know it would be difficult. He told me that he wanted to think about it (there's a lot of detail behind that which I won't get in to).
Now.. I don't know what to think. I'm not sure if we are together still or not. I'm so terrified to bring up the subject, but I know I have to soon.
However, I am also afraid that I will ruin our relationship. He told me that after he breaks up with a girl, he doesn't talk to them anymore. I don't want that to happen...
I'll understand if he doesn't want to continue to date me... although, I will be quite hurt by it.
But, I guess for me, I would rather have a relationship than nothing at all (and I don't mean a romantic relationship, just a close relationship...someone I can call a good friend).
I just want to know how he feels. I want to stop worrying about what he is doing or what he thinks of me.
Jeez... I must be so annoying.
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